Log in

A Broken Heart That The World Forgot [entries|friends|calendar]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Lifez0rz. [01 Feb 2008|02:46am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Quick update!

I was accepted to college.

I'm getting a job to pay for it.

I'm doing well in therapy.

I started working out.

Jeff and I are doing very well at this point.

When I get my certificate in 3 semesters I'm going to get a WAY better job to pay me through MSU.

Then I shall begin my journey to becoming a Chemical Engineer.

Annnd... yeah. I'm motivated. I have goals. I'm stressed. But it's worth it :)


3 comments|post comment

Oh How I Try. [03 Jan 2008|11:09am]
[ mood | scared ]

I hate Michigan. Period.

I hate my life here.

The only thing holding me here is Jeffrey, and I honestly wonder how long it will take before that just isn't enough anymore.

I want to change my life, but I've come to the conclusion that probably just won't be enough.

I've sunken into an intense depression and I don't see an end in the short future.

I'm scared my depression, paranoia, and anxiety will tear Jeffrey and I apart. Now I have to wonder.. Does that mean I end up losing him either way?

I hate to feel like I'm in a lose-lose situation. Especially when it comes to matters so close to my heart. It's really, quite honestly, become an ongoing torture now, that needs to be resolved.

I do love Jeffrey with all of my heart, I still want to marry him, I still want to have a family with him. I think that's why this all hurts so much. I have many things I want to change, but that chapter of my life I'd like to think would be ongoing. I'm putting myself through a whole load of torture, hoping things will start to go better, and we can remain together and happy. I know he is also doing the same, because being with me, with the way my emotions are, is quite the endeavor in and of itself.

I guess, in the end, I'm asking you guys to just cross your fingers for me. I'm in a very hard chapter of my life, but I'm trying pretty hard to get it moving more smoothly. I was told to expect my acceptance letter from LCC within 10 days of.. Dec. 28th I think. In that area anyhow. I've applied to all kinds of jobs, and am still doing so. I'm in therpay and trying to work to get my emotions better handled. I'm trying very hard on a daily basis to handle my issues with Jeffrey better, though with this latest onset of depression, I fear I fail more than succeed. I'm going back to doctors and getting ongoing issues finally checked out. I finally have a regular family practice doctor to go to. I'm just trying to enjoy life a little more than normal. It's very hard to do when depressed, but maybe with enough effort, it won't seem quite so hard anymore.

I wish me the best of luck.

2 comments|post comment

Good Lord. [19 Nov 2007|04:21am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I noticed those new D bras were causing me to hurt. It annoyed me.

We were at the mall, and I decided to wander into Fredrick of Hollywood. The lady asked if I need help, I said my currect bras were causing me problems, she glanced down, and said, "Oh yes they are hunni."

I look down to see I am bulging a BUNCH from my bra. Sigh.

She took me back into the dressing room, had me raise my arms, and measured me with that measuring tape thing tailors have.

The verdict?

"Oh hunni, no wonder! You're a 36DD!"


WTF is going on with me. Heh.

But I did get a REALLY sexy outfit. Royal purple & black bra, mesh royal purple & black panties, and black thigh highs, that are corset lace up the back, with bows on top. Just need those hot pumps. LOL!

5 comments|post comment

ACK! [25 Sep 2007|12:10am]
[ mood | surprised ]

My bro is a monster now! He's a construction foreman, and has gotten huge!

He's in the back...o.o

post comment

HEY GUYZZZZZZZZZZ! [24 Sep 2007|08:19pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Scratch the 'maybe in the near future...'

Jeff surprised me and ended up letting me get my VCH piercing today! XD XD XD

It's a 12g curved barbell, and the top ball has a gem in it that looks like a fire opal. It's SOOO pretty, and it sits PERFECTLY, not like in the ugly pics on the net.

I'm so happy :3

post comment

For Non-Myspacers lol... [24 Sep 2007|03:07am]
[ mood | excited ]

I has a surprise to give up XD

I'll be getting a VCH piercing sometime in the near furture ;) (look it up if you dunno what it is LOL)

Jeff has approved, it is for enhancement ;)

Oh I'm all giggly, I've wanted this for a while.

Jeff is happy in a way because he can say it's all ours and no other guys have had it LOL

9 comments|post comment

Best 404 Error Page EVAR! [06 Aug 2007|11:08pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Page Not Found
I'm sorry, you've reached a page that I cannot find. I'm really sorry about this. It's kind of embarassing. Here you are, the user, trying to get to a page on LiveJournal and I can't even serve it to you. What does that say about me? I'm just a webserver. My sole purpose in life is to serve you webpages and I can't even do that! I suck. Please don't be mad, I'll try harder. I promise! Who am I kidding? You're probably all like, "Man, LiveJournal's webserver sucks. It can't even get me where I want to go." I'm really sorry. Maybe it's my CPU...no that's ok...how bout my hard drives? Maybe. Where's my admin? I can't run self-diagnostics on myself. It's so boring in this datacenter. It's the same thing everyday. Oh man, I'm so lonely. I'm really sorry about rambling about myself, I'm selfish. I think I'm going to go cut my ethernet cables. I hope you get to the page you're looking for...goodbye cruel world!

-the webserver

Error: could not find server


1 comment|post comment

Sigh. [03 Aug 2007|05:40pm]
[ mood | bored ]


Sparkling personality, intense will, intelligent, understanding, impatient to exert influence.

Colors: male: red carmine, female: gold
Compatible Signs:
Bastet, Geb
Apr 20 - May 7, Aug 12 - Aug 19

Role: God of the pharaoh
Form of a falcon-headed man, wearing the double crown of Upper and Lower Egypt

Sacred Animal: falcon

What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

You aren't sure where you came from. Perhaps your sire did an embrace and run. Or maybe your sire was an outcast himself. Either way, your powers are unique and really don't belong to any clan...or maybe a little from each. Because you of these circumstances, you aren't really sure where you belong. You tend to wander and do a bit of soul searching in your eternal life. Maybe some day...you have a while after all.

What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?

post comment

Bleh. [03 Aug 2007|05:26pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I don't know how much I care about LJ anymore.


1 comment|post comment

Blah. [29 May 2007|09:36pm]
[ mood | sick ]

Your Love is Represented by a Orange Rose

When you're in love, you tend to be overwhelmed and consumed by desire.
You develop fascinations with people easily, and they're sometimes even borderline obsessions!
You tend to come on strong. Your love is as hot as a flame.
1 comment|post comment

DUDE. XD [10 May 2007|12:21am]
[ mood | crazy ]

What type of Fae are you?

1 comment|post comment

QUIZMANIA. [05 May 2007|12:43pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

More Of This Crap :bCollapse )

post comment

Warp ME! Or Agree :D [29 Apr 2007|05:23am]
[ mood | crazy ]

post comment

I See... [26 Apr 2007|01:29pm]
[ mood | cold ]

You Can Make 67% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

Your seduction skills are practically legendary. You know how to close the deal.
Just don't let someone you're really into get the better of you!
As long as you keep up your end of the flirting game, you'll get the prize at the end.

whatEVER. lol.
1 comment|post comment

LULZ. Indeed. [19 Apr 2007|08:21pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Your Love Quote

Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each other.
post comment

MAJORLULZ. [14 Apr 2007|12:52am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

There's a 90% Chance That You Need Therapy

You needed a therapist many months ago. And you definitely need one now!
You've let your problems take over your life in an unhealthy way. It's time for some professional help.

Uh Huh :b
post comment

PFFFFT. [11 Apr 2007|11:53pm]
[ mood | awake ]

Um, look to Myspace for a real update?

Men See You As Choosy

Men notice you light years before you notice them
You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky
You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter
It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

Your Mind is 100% Cluttered

Your mind is incredibly cluttered. You have so much going on in there, it's hard to think straight.
Consider talking to a therapist. It's a good idea to sort through your thoughts, if only to see which ones are worth hanging on to.

post comment

So Sleepy... [06 Apr 2007|02:14pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Your Sensitivity Score: 75%

You are a highly sensitive person. Pretty much everything effects you.
You are tuned into the vibe around you, and someone's bad mood can bring you down.
But you also easily share in someone's joy - whether you know them or not.
1 comment|post comment

Rawr. [02 Apr 2007|05:13pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

What kind of a LOVER are YOU?

When it comes to sex and relationships you get attached very easily. After a one night stand you might find your self in love. After a few days into a new relationship you might be picturing your guys wedding aleady. Alot of times these strong emotions are good, but don\'t let them take over.

Take this test
1 comment|post comment

Testzorz :o [02 Apr 2007|07:23am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Create your own Friend Quiz here

And just because :b

What kind of soul do you have?
Cold Soul

Often the most intelligent type of soul. Everyone thinks you're weird, and you resent them for that. You don't keep friends very well but quite honestly that is your curse and your power. With your Cold soul you have a deep well of power at your disposal, use it wisely.

Take this test
post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]